We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
