ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
