soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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