So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just had sex on a roof
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
