weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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