he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
