You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
