does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
