Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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