He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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