Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
