Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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