There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
