Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
