scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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