Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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