Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
