never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize