Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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