I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
