I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
