Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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