So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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