I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
