and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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