Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
