Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
