there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
