So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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