That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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