Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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