If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
