I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
