My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Oh god it's open bar.
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