no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
