I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just had sex on a roof
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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