i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
