So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
