At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I will be naked everywhere
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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