I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
