I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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