Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
