And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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