we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
