do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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