And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
