I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
