Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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