Swine flu. Run for my life!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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