Your dad touched me again.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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