I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
