I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
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i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it