I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
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Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm like, not good at living.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often