Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
lol hangovers are for mortals.