Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome

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  (405): I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome http://tfl.nu/rn4a
  Replies (7) Good night (4661) Bad night (527)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!

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  (732): I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body! http://tfl.nu/a54s
  Replies (22) Good night (4818) Bad night (716)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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  (847): For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining. http://tfl.nu/2itw
  Replies (30) Good night (3943) Bad night (829)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.

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  (775): My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful. http://tfl.nu/tk77
  Replies (23) Good night (1947) Bad night (5545)
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  (707): View more from California

  She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.

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  (707): She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed. http://tfl.nu/z812
  Replies (22) Good night (1372) Bad night (4761)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.

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  (828): Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes. http://tfl.nu/k70t
  Replies (9) Good night (1612) Bad night (1237)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery

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  (360): Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery http://tfl.nu/djsi
  Replies (5) Good night (1691) Bad night (610)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level

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  (780): they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level http://tfl.nu/15nb
  Replies (19) Good night (1561) Bad night (1148)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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  (410): If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina http://tfl.nu/8dig
  Replies (28) Good night (1300) Bad night (2561)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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  (541): Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule. http://tfl.nu/eokl
  Replies (28) Good night (3739) Bad night (757)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed

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  (432): posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed http://tfl.nu/3oaa
  Replies (3) Good night (303) Bad night (604)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.

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  (919): Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/9jhi
  Replies (8) Good night (324) Bad night (839)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.

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  (541): Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car. http://tfl.nu/sdxj
  Replies (4) Good night (1168) Bad night (228)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?

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  (915): I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like? http://tfl.nu/163q
  Replies (5) Good night (253) Bad night (745)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.

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  (215): Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise. http://tfl.nu/k2tj
  Replies (0) Good night (194) Bad night (300)

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