..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
