"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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