White coat. Heels.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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