new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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