I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
