Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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