she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize