She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
