It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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