I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
