I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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