i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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