absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
