i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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