I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
